MBA, Marketing, MTU Noida
Greater Noida, UP, India
I'm One of my Own.
IPL Cricket 2012Gully CricketCricket ChallengeCricketDisneyland StarsDisney Princess DifferencesMystery Difference 3
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn\'t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, \"What do you want for Christmas?\"
\"Something for my mother, please.\" said the young lady.
\"Something for your mother? Well, that\'s very thoughtful of you,\'\' smiled Santa. \"What do you want me to bring her? \"
Without blinking she replied, \"A son-in-law!\"
Santa Police station ja kar kehta hai: Inspector saab, mujhe ek FIR likhwaani hai.
Inspector: Kaun ho tum, kya hua, aur kiske khilaaf FIR karwaani hai?
Santa: Mujhe phone par jaan se marne ki dhamki mil rahi hai.
Inspector: Kaun de raha hai dhamkiyaan tumko, aur kya bol raha hai?
Santa: BSNL wale, kehte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge...!
One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base. The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, \"Dammit! I missed!\"
\"Don\'t you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning,\" the nun said.
Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, \"Dammit! I missed!\"
\"If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning,\" the nun said.
Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, \"Dammit! I missed!\"
A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says, \"Dammit! I missed!\"
In prison: You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison: You get three meals a day.
At work: You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison: You get time off for good behavior.
At work: You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison: A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work: You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison: You can watch TV and play games.
At work: You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison: You get your own toilet.
At work: You have to share.
In prison: They allow your family and friends to visit.
At work: You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison: All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison: You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
At work: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
In prison: There are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work: They are called supervisors.
In prison: You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
At work: You get fired if you get caught.
We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it, not throw it away
How did I end up right here wit you after all the things that I been through. It's been one of those days you try and forget about take a shot and let it out.
Trying to make some1 fall n love w/u is as pointless as trying to control who u fall n love/w. You're setting yourself up for failure.
Better late than never but never late is better. They tell me time is money well we'll spend it together.